All I know is that it’s terrifying.

There’s plenty of girls in my life that I would love to date, and if they said “go” I’d be ready at the drop of a hat. But at the same time that’s soooo much pressure. When you take relationships seriously it’s a very insane thing to consider. It’s taking on responsibility for not only another persons health but mindset as well. I like that stress in a way, but I’m getting older and always have this feeling like I never got enough practice. I didn’t drive that car enough. But never too late right?
Sometimes I wonder if I’m not even meant to have a long lasting relationship, maybe my skill or purpose is to comment on it and not experience it. I guess I won’t know until I know. But inevitably some of it has to do with hope. I’m addicted to that shit. Maybe it isn’t healthy, but hope is one of my favorite things ever. The feeling that the water is flowing for a reason and knows where it’s going, what’s important is to let it carry you and not fight the current. Either way I’m waiting for that moment where I see a girl for the first time and have that one moment (I can’t remember where I read this) but the “oh…. it’s you!” moment. I’m sure some of you have experienced that and I’m still waiting. But that’s o.k., maybe that’s this “approachness” I’ve been feeling lately. All I know is I’m trying to enjoy the single life and be cautious about my choices. Things will change sooner than later. I just hope I get to know my lovely before it goes south. Love you guys, peace!